Dating nowadays
Whether you spend time in person on an old-fashioned date, or whether you pursue a relationship online, there are some universal Dos and Don’ts that have stood the test of time. Most of them have to do with politeness, and attentiveness, and simply trying to treat your date with respect. It’s hard to go wrong with that as your ultimate goal.
Three Dos for dating in the 21st century
1. Safety first: meet in public for your first date. This is not only for your safety, but it takes a lot of the pressure off both parties and allows for a more casual encounter, with both parties on a more equal footing.
2. It’s hard to know how to handle the bill on a first or an early date. On the one hand, women are more independent than ever, but on the other hand, there are a lot of men who feel diminished if their date pays – even if they go dutch. Ideally, you should discuss it ahead of time, and you should first suggest the most middle-of-the-road option: splitting the check. This will let both parties see if either has strong feelings about paying, and will allow a person who doesn’t have a lot of money to gracefully bring up the subject early on.
3. Practice good manners. Pay attention to your date rather than the attractive person that just walked by. Turn the phone off. Don’t be afraid of eye contact. Follow up with your date by phone, text, or email to make sure he or she made it home safely. Common courtesy goes a long way toward making a date a good one.
Three Don’ts for dating in the 21st (or any other) century
1. Keep the drinking under control. Few things ruin a date like the man or woman who overindulges and lets alcohol get the best of them. It’s rude and unattractive, and you can probably count on there not being another date later. If the date is bad enough that drinking is the only way to get through it, there are far better ways to end an evening.
2. If it’s a first date, or the relationship is new, stay away from the heavy topics, such as elections, religions, and controversial items in the news. If you’re not good at small talk, it’s OK. Just ask leading questions, like, “I like your accent. Where are you from?” or, “What made you decide to become a teacher/programmer/photographer?”
3. If you’re unsure whether physical advances would be welcome, hold back. And it is not only OK, but can be quite charming to simply ask your date as you’re walking from the coffee shop to the movies, “Do you mind if I hold your hand?” You’ll probably get a good idea of how OK your date is with physical contact without making it into a big deal.